My mother probably had the most influence on how I became to be who I am. The person who shaped her was her mother, Belle Coker. When I was growing up everyone called her “Mama Coker” or simply “Mama.” And, indeed she was a mother to everyone in various ways.
My mother is my root, my foundation. She planted the seed that I base my life on, and that is the belief that the ability to achieve starts in your mind.
— Michael Jordan (b. 1963) American businessman and former professional basketball player
My maternal grandmother, born in 1892, was the oldest of five children. Her mother, Janie, died in 1904 in childbirth when Mama was only twelve years old. In 1911, her father remarried and they had nine children.
Belle married Huston Coker in 1912. They lived on property (160 acres near Arab, Alabama) that Huston’s father, William Robert Coker, had received in a land grant in 1895. She lived in that same house for seventy-seven years, and was living there when she died.
I remember Mama Coker as gentle, soft-spoken, extremely creative, and intelligent. She had long brown hair which was never cut. It was very thin and baby-fine so she wore it twisted into a tight knot on the top of her head. I loved watching her bend over from the waist and comb her hair—her long hair sweeping against the floor. Grasping it firmly all the way around her head, she would pull it to the top of her head—which was now leaning toward the floor. She would then stand up and finish by twisting her hair around her index finger and securing it firmly to the top of her head with a hair-comb and several bobby pins. When she died at the age of ninety-six, there was no gray in her hair.
I remember her love of gardening. She would can and freeze as much produce from her garden as she could. Every year on Mother’s Day I would go out into her garden and pick (mostly eat) strawberries. She would send cartons of frozen strawberries home with us and I would enjoy them all year long.
She had a green thumb and could make anything grow—from flowers to vegetables. I remember her porch being filled with potted plants of all kinds. Sometimes she would root plants from stems or seeds from unlikely herbs or vegetables such as celery— just to see if they would grow!
Mama Coker made her children’s clothes without store-bought patterns. My mother told me when she was growing up, they would go through the Sears catalogue and pick out clothes. Mama would look at the picture, draw off a pattern, and then make the garment.
She also loved to make quilts. She made hundreds of colorful quilts and quilt tops. After she got arthritis in her hands, she could no longer sew by hand and started making quilts on her sewing machine. She was still making quilts when she died at age ninety-six. A newspaper article written about her after her death states that she made two hundred and fifty quilts. I believe it was probably more!
One Christmas in about 1965, she made my sister and me an entire wardrobe for our Tammy dolls. To be equal, she made two of everything and almost entirely using the same material for each identical outfit.
When I was about nine or ten years old she gave me her beloved antique miniature doll chest (the one in the center of the photo). I was deeply honored. I believe she gave me the doll chest because I was the youngest daughter of her youngest daughter. It was missing the handles and mother had to find some that would fit. A few years later, my father and I were at a flea market and found two more pieces to the set. I remember they were five dollars for both. That seemed like a lot of money, but daddy bought them for me. These are some of my most treasured items.
Mama Coker’s most memorable statement to me was this proverb. When I was about to get married, (at the age of twenty-six) she pulled me aside and said, “I am going to tell you something very important. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Always resolve your problems with your husband before you lay your head down on your pillow at night.” I have remembered this and passed this advice down to my niece and sister on their wedding days—feeling like I was sharing a part of Mama Coker with them.
I feel deeply indebted to her for who I am today. But, I admit, I definitely did not inherit her patience for sewing or gardening. However, I believe her gentle temperament and optimistic outlook was passed down to me through my mother.
Mary Artie Belle Thompson Coker
October 13, 1892 – February 8, 1989
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