How many self-help books do you have on your shelves? I have generally steered away from such books, although I do have several. The question is: If self-help books really help, then why do people keep writing them? Every year there seems like a new flurry of “ideas” are touted by the latest media gurus. I am not saying they can’t be useful or helpful and I am sure they must be helpful to a degree. I have one that I keep trying to get rid of, but I can’t quite seem to put it in the donate pile. It is a book that helped me to move forward at a point when I was unable to do so.
The other day I picked it up and read passages I had underlined. The basic premise of the book is that you need to take charge of your own life. If you are the CEO of your life, how is it going? If it were a business, would you fire that CEO for not doing a good job?
I came across one passage that stated we need a map, a flow chart, and a timeline. I almost laughed. That sounds like a good idea, and probably is. However, I am not the analytical type. Structure makes me feel constrained. Of course, that is probably a drawback for me.
The other day I had a doctor’s appointment in a professional building. As I approached the enclosed area where the elevators are, a man was standing outside talking on his cell phone. He was dressed in a t-shirt, baggy jean shorts, and tennis shoes. When I approached, he put his phone away and held the door open for me. He then followed me into the area. When we got on the elevator, I punched 2 for the second floor. Others on the elevator asked him which floor he wanted. He laughed and said he never remembers. He just starts at the top and works his way down to find it. This building has eight floors—I know because one of my doctors is on the top floor. He seemed unconcerned about having to do that. He was relaxed and jovial. As I got off the elevator, I heard someone say, “Here is a directory on the wall. Which floor is your doctor on?” The man on the elevator did not have a plan—or, maybe he did. His plan was to start at the top and work his way down.
People have different ways of living and being in the world. There is not just one right way to live or navigate life. I usually look online the day before I go somewhere to find out what the parking lot is like and see what floor I need to go to. Sometimes I might look on Google maps at the road view and travel the roads vicariously making a mental note of visual landmarks. Perhaps, for me, it is out of fear or anxiety. I need this plan for me to feel like I will be OK.
I had a friend in college who mapped out his career. He had a Plan A and B for his life. As you can guess, he ended up living Plan A. He earned a D.M.A, studied in Europe and is now a professor at a large university.
Having a parent or mentor who can model and help you to know what you want to do and how to make plans to get there is helpful. Being in an environment where others have done this themselves is beneficial as well.
If you don’t know where you are going,
you’ll end up someplace else.
― Yogi Berra (1925-2015) American professional baseball catcher, manager, and coach
Navigating life is not as simple as arriving at a physical destination—there are many questions and decisions. Sometimes emotional wounds or lack of mental ability narrows down or limits our choices.
Map
A map is a drawing that shows various features, such as rivers and roads, and the distances between them. It enables people to find their way from one place to another. A map can also be a simple plan that represents a more complicated thing, system, or idea.
Flow Chart
Flow charts show the details of a process. They diagram the sequence of movements or actions involved in a complex system or activity—they show the linear creation process.
Timeline
Timelines show events in the order they took place in time. They can also be a schedule for when a process or procedure will be carried out.
What is a project timeline?
A project timeline will display the events and activities involved in a project. They provide a predefined structure for tasks and milestones. A project timeline will simplify the work of creating a clear schedule for a project.
Whether you begin with a map, flow chart, or timeline—part of the journey of life begins with finding the process that works for you. Sometimes, the simplest method is to continue to put one foot in front of the other. Let each day be your success. Live with gratitude, love, and creativity.
Oh, and self-help books? I am reading two right now. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear. And, Every Tool’s a Hammer: Life Is What You Make It by Adam Savage.
Everything, a horse, a vine, is created for some duty. For what task, then, were you yourself created? A man’s true delight is to do the things he was made for.
― Marcus Aurelius (121-180) Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher
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