Is imperfection a gift? Imperfection hardly seems like a gift. In fact, it seems undesirable. Something must be flawed if it is not perfect. But is that true?
Don’t you dare surrender
I’m still right beside you
And I would never
Replace your perfect imperfection
“Imperfection” is a song by American rock band Evanescence. Group members Amy Lee, Troy McLawhorn, Tim McCord, Jen Majura, and Will Hunt, wrote the song for their fourth studio album Synthesis released September 15, 2017.
Advertising and commercials try to make us believe that our hair, our skin, and our personalities are inadequate. Everything about us needs to change or improve. This is how companies make money from their products. They make us believe that we must have their services or merchandise to be as perfect or beautiful as everyone around us.
Thick hair, straight hair, curly hair, shiny hair
Blonde hair, brown hair, black hair, gray hair, red hair
White teeth, straight teeth
Bodies that are not too large or too small
Bodies with just the right shape
Outgoing, bubbly, charismatic personality
Clever, witty conversationalist
and the list goes on . . .
We learn to constantly compare ourselves to others’ image of beauty or success. We are taught to never be satisfied with who we are, what we are, how we look, or how we feel.
With all these images of “perfection” around us, owning and loving who we are can be difficult. We need courage to value and accept ourselves—just as we are. I am not saying that we never need to improve or work to become healthy or more well-rounded people. Of course, we need to always strive to be the best that we can be. That does not entail changing who we are though. We can’t remake our DNA. We are gifted with quirks, personalities, body shapes—maybe, imperfections.
Imperfections Help Define Who We Are
How do we learn to see our imperfections as being an irreproachable part of who we are? I believe that first we need to find what gives us that deep emotional and spiritual connection to our creative self. That involves finding what we are artistically passionate about and using that expressive gift. If we do not connect with our creative DNA we may feel empty, frustrated, or have a sense of grief. Sometimes we can’t quite put our finger on it or describe what is wrong or missing. Music, drawing, writing, or dance—any creative activity—can help us make that connection with our expressive inner self.
What do imperfections have to do with finding our artistic connections? Imperfections are gifts that make us unique. It is delectably delightful to be distinctive, maybe even quirky or eccentric. We are the only ones who have had our experiences and see the world through our distinctive lenses. We must value and share that perspective with those around us. If we are always struggling to be something we are not, we are not being honest to our true self.
Make the connection with yourself everyday through creativity in some form—dancing, decorating, singing, cooking, acting, taking pictures, knitting, sculpting, doodling, drawing, writing, composing music, painting, scrapbooking, making a collage, making a flower arrangement—whatever makes you feel alive! We learn lessons about life and about ourselves when we engage our creativity. We get caught up in something beyond ourselves—yet part of us.
Our imperfections whether with us at birth or acquired through life’s wear and tear give our inner light a way to shine through us. Those imperfections are you. You are alive and living — breathing and being — thinking and creating. You are part of this marvelous universe.
Highlighting Imperfections
There is a Japanese tradition of repairing broken pottery. It is called Kintsugi or Kintsukuroi—“golden joinery.” In this practice, seams are not joined in an effort to hide the repair. Instead, the artist dusts the seams with a special tree sap lacquer and powdered gold, silver, or platinum. The conspicuous cracks give a distinctive appearance. This method celebrates the unique history of the broken pottery by emphasizing its fractures and breaks instead of hiding or disguising them. It gives the piece a new look. This technique makes the repaired piece more beautiful than the original.
The dictionary defines imperfection as a fault, blemish, an undesirable feature, a flaw, deformity, disfigurement, irregularity, abnormality, or blotch. An imperfection is a detail that makes something (or someone) less than perfect.
Yet, we do not have to (indeed, must not) be bound by that definition.
Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity
for growing into the healthiest of people.
— Mr. Rogers (1928-2003) American television host, producer, and Presbyterian minister
He was the creator and host of the television series Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
which ran from 1968 to 2001.
Life has probably given us scars—both physically and psychologically. Scars can represent more than a corporal blemish where there was once a wound. It may represent pain and suffering—perhaps a time in our life when we reached our lowest point. Maybe a scar represents a turning point. That is cause to celebrate. We are survivors! If all we care about is how we look and how others perceive us, we lose precious hours and days wasted on worrying about something totally unimportant.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
— Brené Brown,The Gifts of Imperfection
Creativity helps us abandon insecurities, self-doubt, and comparison to others. To create, we must take ownership of who we are and revel in what makes us unique—including any so-called imperfections.
The world is not changed by perfect people. It’s changed by ordinary human beings who have the vision and courage to fight for their convictions, despite their own failings.
— Unknown
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What traits about yourself have you considered to be imperfections? How can you reframe your view and see them as a wonderful part of who you are?
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